confusing in deep inside

i hate to be adults.
to be good.
but i have to.
i know

i hate to be me sometimes
i love to be me sometimes.

i hate my hair.
i hate my clothes
i wanna be others
stupid iam.

i hate to make a decision
iam afraid that i make
a wrong decision actually
like the old days.

i hate to pretend that iam strong
i hate to those that hurt me
i hate to those who make me sick!
i hate all of them!

but...

i have to face all those trials
i have to be good
i have to accept what ever iam
i have to learn something new
everyday i wake up. *sigh

i love to see those smile
i love to see the blue sky
i love to make them angry
i love to see they are happy
*even iam not
i love to take care all those stupid things
*because thats iam!

lastly
sometimes people cant see
because people dont even give a damn
people dont even care

but
i do care *sigh
do i care too much honey?
do i have to let everything just happen?
i know iam not a superhero
and i cant control everything

but
i want to take care everything
in a right place
in a right time
definitely i know.
i cant.

i love them
i love you
i love bout my past.

thanx for visiting me honey.

Last weekend, ahmad syihan came to visit me in Melaka. auw! Dah beberapa bulan tak jumpe! rindu gilak! he's coming here to celebrate my 21st years old birthday honey! He spend 3days 2night with me. *tapi still tak hilang rindu lagi laaaaaaa. sob3

Ermm kali neh, kitorang takde aktiviti special pun.. just jalan-jalan and pergi makan. Urgh, biler toad datang neh,badan naek balek, sebab makan jerp keje. adoi~

Btw, congrats and goodluck to mr.toad sebab dapat tawaran kerja yang baru di Petronas. Erm ader test 18hb neh kan? So, goodluck honey!

After toad balek jeh, mulee rindu toad balek. eishhh~

hehe

thanx toad for the present :)
i love when my fingers entangled in yours.

jalan-jalan kat jonker mencari benda neh.
then biler jumpe terus jerp belii. huu~
*takamek pic pun kat jonker
sebab toad marah
pffft!

sayang curik jersi neh. huu~

love ya! :D

burger king time!

this is for me! nyum3.

couple (*_*)

kodok eat a lots.

muah!

drama king!

love - love - love

indulgences for me
*tak sempat celebrate bersama toad aritue
so last day before he going back
toad suapkan cake. lalala~

choc ice blended.

mushroom soup.

cafe latte for him.

candid!

will be miss you again! hmph.

love : ouch gemoks!
toad : syg memang gemoks!
love : grrrr. <3


p/s : i love you the way you are
so love me like the way iam.


..

I feel very INSULTED. thanks!

tak pernah aku rase terhina macamnie
seriously tak pernah! even macam2 orang cakap kat aku pun
sesiapa pun cakap kat aku. ape pun yang diorang cakap
tapi aku taktau la. kenapa kali neh aku boleh sangat terasa.
sangat terasa! terasa terhina sangat!

buruk sangat ke aku? tak nampak langsung ke baik tentang aku?
sampai antara orang yang paling aku sayang tuduh aku sampai macam tu sekali?
you know who you are.

iam feeling seriously disappointed!
for a many years, then after i just meet you a few past days
you can say that......... urgh!

tah laaa. tak tau kenapa terasa sangat kali neh
cumaaaa, tak sangka aku boleh dituduh sampai macamtu sekali?
kalau alasan laen mungkin aku boleh terima
tapi alasan tue aku langsung tak dapat terima

tak nampak lagi ke ape segala aku buat ? buta sangat ke?
atau nak aku listkan satu-satu aku dah buat?? demn lah!

iam trying my best to be good for you
but i think my best is not enough for you.


p/s : yes, iam too afraid to speak louder than before.
because iam afraid it will hurt ones that i love.

maaf kali neh sudah sampai tahap maxima
everyone have their own limits.
and kali neh, you are over my limit honey.

dnd.

..

Happy 21st years old for myself. yeay!

Last 3rd August iam celebrating my 21st years old birthday! Ermm yeay, just after iam having my diploma convocation ceremony. hehe

So, thats why iam feeling lucky this week..because i can celebrate two important thing in one celebration. :D *jimattt seket. hee~

Ermmm what a special day! Just after sampai di melaka central with Jepri, i asked Mimie, Keen, and Ikan to fetch us. I dont know they had plan to make a surprise for me! hahaa *serious tak sangke beb!

Awal-awal terperanjat gilak! Yelaaa, sebab dalam kereta sempat plak nak potong kek kan??? haha Aduh! Thanxx to all my dearie Mimie, Keenie, and Ikan add on with Jeprii yang kene surprise jugakkk. huuu~

cake birthday! :)

malu-malu potong cake :D

thanx honey!

jepri nak suap gakkk :p



p/s : omg! iam already 21st
years old?

still dont know how
to make a good decision.

*sigh.

..

Rehearsal and Convocation Ceremony

Uiks, seriously busy yang tak terhingga! *eceh macam PM daaa. :D Ermm I have a lots of planning and planning! Ermm alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar seperti yang dirancang and berlalu dengan baik and saye sungguh happy!

Ermm its starts from last 30 July! I have my rehearsal for diploma convocation ceremony at MMU Cyberjaya. I went there with my dear Mama and cousin, Mr. Firdaus Anuar. *auw popular you nanti! Rehearsal start from 8am i think? Tapi, terlewat seket sebab thats my first time arrive and visits MMU kampus Cyberjaya. So, try remember jalan semua and around 9am sampai! *cantek and besar sangat butt errk, naseb baek aku tak study campus sane..sebab terlalu besar and malas berjalan kaki beb! haha

Time rehearsal neh, ramai jugak orang datang, tak kurang jugak parents yang datang temankan anak-anak diorang! :) Rase-rase nervous belum lagi , sebab mase rehearsal diorang just explain ape yang patut kitorang settlekan before dapat naek stage untuk ambil scroll. *auw!

After rehearsal, me mama and apit went to Alamanda for lunch! hee~ Ermm tak tau nak makan ape since pagi dah kebulur even mama bawak bekal sandwich tapi.....tetap kebulur gak! hehe So, kitorang makan kat foodcourt jep! Ermm, jejalan kat Alamanda sambil mama shopping baju seket. and me paw mama Famous Amos and tudung comel. :)

After then, around 3pm gerak ke kl.. nak melawat MakTam *makcek saye manager mcd pudu. Ohhh, kami nak melawat maktam sambil nak paw maktam GCB baru. hahaaaa brilliant tak kami??? huhu
Then after that baru pulang balek ke Melaka sambil peruttt penuh dengan GCB yang umph! hehe

.........................................................................

Its 2nd August! The real Diploma Convocation Ceremony at MMU Cyberjaya honey! Ouch, pepagi bertolak dari Melaka with my Express baju kebaya. hehe Ermm kali neh datang bersama-sama abah kesayangan, mama, and apit again. *co-driver! hehe

Bertolak around 7am. Mama bawak bekal okay? She bring her nasi impit, sambal udang gemuk2 and rendang daging. *nyum2. makan sampai terlupa nak amek pic udang2 tersebut. haha Ermm sempat jamah seket jerp before gerak ke Cyberjaya.

Macam biase, terlewat sedikit sampai di Cyberjaya. Kali neh, memang cuak and nervous sket sebab this is the real ceremony! Mase sampai-sampai dewan dah penuh with all vvip, and graduates from diploma and law graduates. Even, baru jer dapat jadi Diploma holder but iam proudly to be myself because i have my own target. and alhamdulillah target yang pertama dah melepasi tahapnya! Proud to myself!

After convocation, iam not going back with mama and abah. Iam going back with Mr.Jeppri. Lunch with Remy,Helmi and Mahesh. Before we going back to Melaka, singgah di rumah Kak Ani (jepri sister) at Putra Height Subang. Kak Ani got two handsome boy which is Ariff (7) and Ryan(2). *both of them comel sgtt!

Around 9.30pm me and Jeprii going back to Melaka naek bus di station bus Shah Alam. Ouch! Seriously penatt, tapi have fun dapat jumpe kawan-kawan yang dah pindah campus cyber and others uni.

30 JULY (REHEARSAL CONVOCATION)

muke excited pagi2 before pergi rehearsal

self-timer! haha

toilet petronas mane ntah! cantek! :Pp

mama eat alots of ulam2. :D

cameraman :)

camwhore-girl. :D

blurp. *kenyang daaa

famous amos! :D

sementara tunggu Maktam sampai

tuk belanje kitorang GCB. huu

amek gambar pun sempat lagiee. lalala~

GCB. *grilled chic burger honey!

mok makan tak pandang kiri kanan dah!

mama pun sameee. :D

abes daaaa.

maktam saye. *mama's sister :)

....................................................................................................

(2ND AUGUST DIPLOMA CONVOCATION CEREMONY)

kebaya yang tak dirancang.

tetiba ade then terus dipakai pada

pagi tersebuttt. *cantek tak? :)

dalam kereta. otw honey!

seat beside Zaty and Huda. ex-course-mate

mase diploma! you all rocks!

*time neh nervous gilak!

biler nervous pegi toilet.

jumper Jay sambil make-up seket. hee~

miss ya honey!

After naek pentas amek scroll. pheww!

lega beb! :)

*muke happy semuaaaaa :D

11th MMU Convocation 2010

*ade orang cakap saye kurus. haha

eric,me,zaty and seng hock

thanx mama,abah, apit! :)

officially graduated from MMU.

camwhore with jepri. haha

me, daus, jepri

jepri,mahesh,remy

terserempak dengan acik yana.

tak sangke acik datang nak tengok

akak and pakwe tersayang die :)

Ariff. :)

meet the handsome boy, Ryan :)

Mummy iam hungry!

just arrive at MC

Ouch! Sebenarnya banyak lagi pic tapi ader dekat Mr.Apit. Belum sempat nak amek lagi pic2 tersebut, and paling penting pic bersama abah and mama. Pic yang ade neh pun pic yang ade dalam handphone yang tak seberape tue. huu~ *later update lah. lalala~

p/s : iam officially diploma holder.

congrats to myself! :)

..